Friday, August 19, 2011

Marriage: War Path to One Path



One of the most important Bible verses to me is Matthew 19:6.

Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. (NLT)

It is so important to both my husband and me that “M 19:6” is permanently etched on the inner band of my wedding ring, and on his watch (his wedding ring is unable to be etched).

This verse really has two parts.

The first being, “they are no longer two but one.”

Isn’t THAT the truth? Good God Almighty!

Everything I do affects my husband. Everything. From the mood that I start my day, to what I cook for dinner, to what kind of toothpaste I buy for the household.

Through marriage our lives are completely, 100%, woven together. Forever.

I tell you what; my husband and I had definitely hit a bump in the road about four months back.

We were about a year and a half into our marriage. The honeymoon phase had completely faded, especially after dealing with the blessings and struggles of our first child.

I have come to realize that a big part of our struggle was that between my career, my writing ambitions, our new son, understanding parenting, his job, and his nursing school we were trying to live as two different “ones” under the same roof.

This is simply not the structure that God has built for marriage.

We as husband and wife are to live as ONE. One goal. One path. One story.

We as husband and wife are not built merely to support each others path as if we were some sort of roommate.

We as husband and wife are called to have a higher relationship; to have but ONE path.

This gets really hard.

We were trying to pluck up the other person and place them on our own individual path.

But Chase didn’t fit on my path. And I didn’t fit on his.

That’s when, through prayer and, albeit painful, discussion, we started to mold OUR PATH.

Our path is without many of the comfortable surrounding of our childhood and past, as we have left our parents, our childhood, and our “BUT-I-WANT-ITS” in the dust.

Ever since we have stepped onto our path, things have been so much smoother.

We are much less thrashed and intimidated by the day-to-day stuff.

We know what works for us. Together. As one.

Not what works for Kaitlin. Not what works for Chase.

What works for CHASEKATILIN = our new identity in marriage.


And as hard as the compromises are, they are getting easier and easier.

And it sure beats the alternative.

The marriage of two separate paths is always clamoring a colliding din.

Two different melodies and structures and visions and goals all jumbled together in a daily battle of me vs. you.

The battle was never intended to be Kaitlin vs. Chase.

The battle is Kaitlin & Chase vs. The World.


Or, to be even more uplifting.

Kaitlin & Chase & Jesus > The World.

With Jesus on our side, the battle has been one and we are truly unstoppable.

Isn’t that Good News?


What can you do today to start merging your paths with the one for whom you are called to be indistinguishable from?


(I’ll be continuing this post to tackle the second part of Matthew 16:9…stay tuned!)


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